Mike does "Gushy" Poetry

It has been suggested (here) that blokes get gushy and write poetry when in love... further more it was suggested that I'm incacpable of ethereal poetry... this is clearly rubbish. I offer the follwing classic ode. It was first and famously (or perhaps infamously) read at my old flatmates wedding. Enjoy.

An ode to Chris who is incredibly Buff
And always let’s us borrow his stuff

He plays the pipes and pisses us off
But when push comes to shove he’s very soft

He has long hair (A birds nest describes its look).
And to be honest he’s not a bad cook (When he doesn’t use Cumin).

He has a Pintara (I mean Skyline) that does 60 in first gear
And when I drive it he quakes in fear,
To see if we will screw the clutch
And totally wreck it with my clumsy touch

When he wakes in the morning he’s grumpy and upset
Cause “Chriiiiis!! We’re out of milk!! which you’ll have to get”

He’s sometimes slack and leaves us at Crossroads.
And forgets to bring home the shopping, we buy by the truckload.

He puts up with our annoying habits like being rude (to Lucy).
However he’s learned to cope when we eat his food.

He has a somewhat irritating niceness and smelly faeces,
That annoying alarm clock we nearly smashed to pieces.

But really. All in all, we love our Chris.
Even though his nickname’s Piss.

Have a good married life with lots of cheer.
When you go we’ll miss your beer.
And possibly even shed a tear.

Stay a Chris-tian